Entries for the Second Annual Numéro Cinq Aphorism Contest are officially closed. As usual with NC competitions, the adjudication now splits into two streams. While the ancient & sapient judges retire to their secret meeting place (the NC travel agent found a very cheap hotel with a beach view in Libya—cases of Talisker had to be shipped in), you, the people, yes, YOU! get to choose the People’s Choice winner.
This is always a joyful and entertaining aspect of the contest judging. You get to read the entries, comment and vote or vote with commentary or just comment on the generally high quality, the wit, the arrogance, and the intelligence of the entries.
The official entry list is here. PLEASE VOTE IN A COMMENT TO THIS POST (NOT ON THE ENTRY LIST).
Helpful hints on judging literary contests can be found here! This is the actual handbook used by the official NC judges.
Read the entries, kick yourselves for not having entered this esteemed and wildly popular competition (if you didn’t), and place your votes in the comment box beneath this post.
You have one week (April 1 to midnight April 7) to place your votes!
Don’t forget to actually read the entries before voting!
And please quote the entry and the name of the author you vote for.
RUNNING TABULATION OF VOTES
Gary Garvin’s “blue dog” 1 vote
John Webster’s: If you speak of heaven, you underestimate eternity. (or something like that.) 1 vote
Peter Chiykowski When someone says, “It’s a free country,” he is usually misunderstanding the difference between exercising civil liberty and being an asshole. 1 vote
Peter Chiykowski for: There’s no ‘condescending prick’ in ‘team’. 1 vote
Steven Axelrod’s “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but donations are appreciated”. 1 vote
Sarah Braud: You know you’re in trouble when you envy the girl in the “before” picture. 1 vote
Prophetic preachers aren’t. (John Webster) 1 vote
Richard Hartshorn “If the shoe fits, you still have growing to do” 4 votes
Axelrod’s “People say ‘Good Question’ when they don’t know the answer.” 1 vote
Jonah Glover’s apple eating aphorism 1 vote
Richard Hartshorn “If you can’t say something nice you’re probably watching Dancing with the stars” 1 vote
The fuzzy math of bad writing: rounding off any thought to the nearest cliche. (Steven Axelrod – putative King of the Aphorisms) 4 votes (a couple of votes strayed to the wrong post, but I think I found them)
Axelrod: Doing does it. 2 votes (2 votes placed on the entry list by mistake)
Axelrod: The essence of modern alienation: a man crossing to the shady side of the street on the first sunny day of spring, to see the screen of his smart phone. 2 votes (also misplaced on the entry list, I think)
Axelrod: When in doubt, watch the horizon and wait. 1 vote
Sarah Braud: Arrogance: often wrong, but never in doubt. 1 vote
(As of midnight April 7)