People's Choice Archives

Second Annual Numéro Cinq Villanelle Contest: The People’s Choice Ballot—VOTING CLOSED

May 272011

Not a villanelle

Also not a villanelle

Definitely not a villanelle either

Entries for the Second Annual Numéro Cinq Villanelle Contest are officially closed. It was a banner year for entries, plenty of panache, wit and arrogance on display, some pathos, some tragedy, some humor. There are cute villanelles, cuddly villanelles, obstinate villanelles, sly villanelles, and improper villanelles, something for all tastes. As usual with NC competitions, the adjudication now splits into two streams. While the rowdy & belligerent (official) judges are being rounded up from various bars, you, the people, yes, YOU! get to choose the People’s Choice winner.

This is always a joyful and entertaining aspect of the contest judging. You get to read the entries, comment and vote or vote with commentary or just comment on the generally high quality, the wit, the arrogance, and the intelligence of the entries. Voting is open to anyone, REALLY!

The official entry list is here. PLEASE VOTE IN A COMMENT TO THIS POST (NOT ON THE ENTRY LIST).

As is often the case, it will be helpful if, before actually making a choice, you look up what a villanelle is (see the official entry post for hints and check out last year’s winner for inspiration). Even as I type this, the official judges (belligerent & rowdy) are being given a crash course on villanelle-writing (truth be told, this is not going well).

Read the entries, kick yourselves for not having entered this esteemed and wildly popular competition (if you didn’t), and place your votes in the comment box beneath this post.

You have 10 days (May 27 to midnight June 5) to place your votes!

Don’t forget to actually read the entries before voting!

And please quote the entry and the name of the author you vote for.

As of midnight June 5, the vote tabulation is as follows (these include votes cast incorrectly on the entry site–how many times do I have to tell you where to vote–sigh!):

Laura-Rose Russell “Once I Was Lonely (A “Why Not?” Villanelle)” 4

Kim Aubrey “Canadian Shield…” 6

Lynne Quarmby “Antonj van Leeuwenhoek” 6

Meg Harris “Rapture” 3

Jodi Paloni “A Once Determined Chair” 3

Lee Busby “Fishbar Villanelle” 4

Anna Maria Johnson “Mystery of Domesticity” 3

Maggie Kast “That’s Art” 2

Any Amaran “Kali’s Villanelle” 1

2nd Annual Numéro Cinq Aphorism Contest — The People’s Choice Ballot!!!!

Apr 012011

: For voters unaccustomed to picking a winner, it will look something like this. (This is a computer simulation not meant to represent any real writer living or dead. No animals were harmed during the production of this image.)

Entries for the Second Annual Numéro Cinq Aphorism Contest are officially closed. As usual with NC competitions, the adjudication now splits into two streams. While the ancient & sapient judges retire to their secret meeting place (the NC travel agent found a very cheap hotel with a beach view in Libya—cases of Talisker had to be shipped in), you, the people, yes, YOU! get to choose the People’s Choice winner.

The official entry list is here. PLEASE VOTE IN A COMMENT TO THIS POST (NOT ON THE ENTRY LIST).

Helpful hints on judging literary contests can be found here! This is the actual handbook used by the official NC judges.

Read the entries, kick yourselves for not having entered this esteemed and wildly popular competition (if you didn’t), and place your votes in the comment box beneath this post.

You have one week (April 1 to midnight April 7) to place your votes!

Don’t forget to actually read the entries before voting!

And please quote the entry and the name of the author you vote for.

RUNNING TABULATION OF VOTES

Gary Garvin’s “blue dog” 1 vote

John Webster’s: If you speak of heaven, you underestimate eternity. (or something like that.) 1 vote

Peter Chiykowski When someone says, “It’s a free country,” he is usually misunderstanding the difference between exercising civil liberty and being an asshole. 1 vote

Peter Chiykowski for: There’s no ‘condescending prick’ in ‘team’. 1 vote

Steven Axelrod’s “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but donations are appreciated”. 1 vote

Sarah Braud: You know you’re in trouble when you envy the girl in the “before” picture. 1 vote

Prophetic preachers aren’t. (John Webster) 1 vote

Richard Hartshorn “If the shoe fits, you still have growing to do” 4 votes

Axelrod’s “People say ‘Good Question’ when they don’t know the answer.” 1 vote

Jonah Glover’s apple eating aphorism 1 vote

Richard Hartshorn “If you can’t say something nice you’re probably watching Dancing with the stars” 1 vote

The fuzzy math of bad writing: rounding off any thought to the nearest cliche. (Steven Axelrod – putative King of the Aphorisms) 4 votes (a couple of votes strayed to the wrong post, but I think I found them)

Axelrod: Doing does it. 2 votes (2 votes placed on the entry list by mistake)

Axelrod: The essence of modern alienation: a man crossing to the shady side of the street on the first sunny day of spring, to see the screen of his smart phone. 2 votes (also misplaced on the entry list, I think)

Axelrod: When in doubt, watch the horizon and wait. 1 vote

Sarah Braud: Arrogance: often wrong, but never in doubt. 1 vote

(As of midnight April 7)

The First Ever Numéro Cinq Rondeau Writing Contest People’s Choice WINNER!!!

Nov 292010

Play while you read the following.

To be slightly serious about this for once, dg wants to say what a pleasure it is to observe the élan and enthusiasm you all demonstrate in these contests. It’s fun to compete and win, sure, but this would be a waste of time if that’s all anyone thought about. It’s just hugely pleasurable to watch people try a little form, try something outside their normal routine, try at the risk of falling flat (or, worse yet, finding yourself changed in some unexpected way). DG loves the good-humoured banter, the camaraderie & commentary, the false steps and lightning bolts of creativity. Steve Axelrod goofed on his first try, then came within an ace of winning another NC contest on his second try. Vivian Dorsel entered once, misread the contest end-date, then, at the last minute, dashed off her birthday rondeau which also nearly won the people’s choice award. This time we had several entries from people we’ve never heard of before which is great. The thing to remember is, as Gary Garvin once wrote to dg in an email (see growing list of testimonials on the About page), there are no failures on Numéro Cinq.

You can all count the votes. You all know the winner this time, by a hair, is Anna Maria Johnson for her absolutely gorgeous and astonishingly robust “Kitchen Ostinato.”

The Way To A Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach, or Kitchen Ostinato

By Anna Maria Johnson

In the kitchen, eating avocado,
Sits a housewife and a desperado.
He weeps gently while she peels a carrot.
“Things are not what they seem!” squawks her parrot,
then with his beak, pecks an ostinato.

The housewife drinks some amontillado
then scoops a handful of turbinado
to sweeten the tea before they share it
in the kitchen.

The cowboy, trouble aficionado,
tells her that his name is Leonardo.
He’s wasted years on things without merit.
Would he settle down now? Could he dare it?
He gives her a stolen carbinado
in the kitchen.

The First Ever Numéro Cinq Rondeau Writing Contest–The People’s Choice

Nov 222010

Entries for the First Annual Numéro Cinq Rondeau Writing Contest have officially closed. As usual, as is customary, comme d’habitude, the esteemed and sapient judges will retire to a place of retirement to focus their immense and weighty brains on selecting the official winner, a difficult and painful task, necessitating many visits to the NC wine cellar. For now, it is the duty of every NC reader to vote in the People’s Choice competition. This is where you get to express your opinions, vent spleen, complain about the management, complain about the general decline in rondeau-writing, impose your taste, convince your fellows, cheer on your favourite, and otherwise pretend you really know what a rondeau is. This is where you get to defy the voice of authority and received opinion—the People’s Choice is the Tea Party of Numéro Cinq. It’s the ultimate democracy. Anyone can vote. You don’t have to be a regular NC reader. Aliens are welcome. Vote and vote often.

All the entries for this year’s contest are here.

Read them over, inspire yourself with a whiff of Talisker, and vote by indicating your favourite poem and author in a comment box beneath this post. In the past, we have had some confused individuals, writers mostly, who tried to vote God knows where. You vote here, on this post–just hit the reply/comment button. Can I be more clear?

Voting will close midnight, Sunday, November 28.

2010 People’s Choice Numéro Cinq Novel/Memoir-in-a-Box WINNERS!

Sep 232010

The People have chosen.

The winners of the First Annual Numéro Cinq Novel-in-a-Box Contest, by a tie vote, are Rich Farrell for Wondering Where The Lions Are and Shelagh Shapiro for Infinity Falling.

The winner of the First Annual Numéro Cinq Memoir-in-a-Box Contest, after a fierce fight, is Steve Axelrod for his Memoir in a Box.

And the winner of the special Off The Page Peoples’ Choice Award is our own Anna Maria Johnson for her Cat-in-the-Box novel-in-a-box.

The winning entries appear below.

First Annual Novel/Memoir-in-a-Box People’s Choice Competition (Vote Here!)–Voting ends midnight September 22

Sep 162010

Entries for the First Annual Numéro Cinq Novel/Memoir-in-a-Box contest are now closed. At this point, as per usual at NC, the competition splits into two phases. While the venerable judges retire to a secluded mountain top in central New Brunswick to consider their choices, you THE PEOPLE (see photo above) get to choose and discuss your favourites.

The official entry list is here (click on this sentence to see the entries)! All the entries posted here are considered final and official however far they deviated from the norm or ignored contest deadlines.

And as per usual (and for some reason this always confuses people), please cast your vote in a comment beneath this post. You must vote in two categories, fiction and nonfiction. For the purposes of this competition, we shall consider Anna Maria Johnson’s Off The Page entry as the winner in that category.

Everyone is welcome to comment and vote. That means EVERYONE. You needn’t have entered or already be a member of the NC community. Outsiders, strangers, aliens and spectral beings are welcome. Mass voting by bots is welcome.

Voting ends at midnight September 22, 2010.

The First Ever Numéro Cinq Villanelle Contest–The People’s Choice Winners!

May 232010

As usual, across the continent vast crowds line up to vote in the villanelle contest!

Voting has officially closed in the in the 2010 Numéro Cinq Villanelle Contest. The people have deliberated and formed an opinion. Let it be recalled that in ancient times the great Greek tragedies were written in just such an atmosphere of competition and public debate, the agon of literary competition. These Numéro Cinq contests are in a direct line with the classical contests that forced artists to make their greatest efforts. Beauty and competition have always gone hand in hand.

Click here to see the winning poems!

2010 Numéro Cinq Villanelle Contest–the People’s Choice Competition: VOTE HERE!

May 162010

Voting is now CLOSED for the 2010 Numéro Cinq Annual Villanelle People’s Choice Competition. Gary, this time you cannot vote more than once (although if you are indecisive, you can change your vote). The judges are puzzling over what to do with David Helwig who wants to be considered in the Golden Age category. Also there are three entries from authors under 16. Since voters have already begun splitting their votes, we shall just continue except that the new “Barracuda Class” will be for authors under the age of 16 (Sage, Sarah & Julie Marden’s students Danny & Anibelys).

In any case, let popular opinion reign here. Remember that so far no one has been expelled from Numéro Cinq for over-indulgence of psychotropic drugs or expressing incorrect ideas.

The official entry list is here. Vote for your preference in the COMMENTS section below this post. Voting closes midnight next Saturday, May 22, 2010. Remember, ANYONE can vote!

And for your edification, I attach a photo of Hobbes which proves without a doubt that he is not fat as suggested in one of the entries.

————–

As of Saturday midnight the votes cast are:

NC People’s Choice Open (Shark Class) Competition

Jacob’s dating poem 1 vote

Farrell A Dream Deferred 1

Axelrod This is why I rant 1

Gary’s Spam Villanelle 2

Julie’s Art of Rat… poem 1

Sandy’s Villanelle No 2 1

Julie’s Mind at Play 1

Gary’s Blue Dog 2 1

Anna Maria’s watersnake poem 2

NC People’s Choice Barracuda (Under 16) Class

Sage’s poem about Hobbes & the mouse 3

Sarah’s “Unlikely Hero” poem 2

Danny & Anibelys 1

The First Ever Numéro Cinq Aphorism Contest–the People’s Choice Winner!

Apr 122010

The People waiting to vote in the aphorism contest

The People have spoken, but the result was a tie on very thin voting. This is what you get when you ask the People for an opinion. I discounted the “blue dog” aphorism because, despite all the proxy votes Gary emailed in, it’s not an aphorism. Pretty dog though.

The co-winners are:

For Bard: An Aphorism”

Forsake not my love for suspect art
For ’tis less vain by far,
To leave the flames of fame unfanned
Than be left alone with self in hand.

Michele Irwin

AND

Donne was wrong: every man is an island, and without that saving strand of water between us we would all go mad.

Steven Axelrod