The judge's cat, clearly suffering from intense Aphorism Contest anxiety
Yes, the death threats, the bribes, and blackmail have begun. The pressure on the judge is incredible at this point. How do you decide between one great entry and another? The judge is drinking vodka neat morning til night; he’s taken up smoking; he’s found a bottle of painkillers from his knee surgery (or possibly they are antibiotics for the dog). Nothing helps. He is thinking of just taking all the entry fees and prize money and flying to Mexico til this blows over.
I should add that the People’s Choice contest is a complete mess at this point with a three-way tie. Could someone please go to the post and break the tie?
dg
The Finalists
A loss of face requires more than plastic surgery to fix.
Natalia Sarkissian
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Zoloft does more than Nietzsche could
to make you feel neither bad nor good.
William Hathaway
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In the egg of procrastination, there is the yolk of fun.
C.M. Mayo
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People who live in glass houses understand the greenhouse effect.
Steven Axelrod
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A mapped world is always small.
Nina Alvarez
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Fuck the ineffable.
Gwen Mullins