Itinerary for Douglas Glover:
Departure: Gansevoort, NY, Saturday, May 21, 6pm
Arrival: Heaven, Saturday, May 21, 6pm
Flight Time: Est. 0 hrs. 0 mins.
1. Eat a good breakfast.
2. Phone mother to say goodbye (listen to her talk about chem trails, organic food and cataract surgery for half an hour).
3. Eat a good lunch. (You never know.)
4. Pack small camera and extra batteries.
5. Charge toothbrush and pack.
6. Call close friends (2) and other relatives even though they are hard to reach and never call back. Leave heartfelt messages of condolence for missing the trip.
7. Clean underwear and socks (pack spares—you never know–I assume I’ll be supplied with clothing but my experience of large bureaucracies tells me to expect inefficiencies).
8. Pack favourite snacks: peanut butter, mayonnaise and banana sandwiches, Sun Chips, thermos of green tea, flask of Talisker, second flask of Talisker, spare flask of Talisker. Note to self: We’re out of sandwich bags. Buy some at Walmart before Saturday.
9. Bring copies of own books to pass around to influential people when I arrive. Bring a book to read and last week’s New Yorker which I haven’t finished yet. Note to self: Decide what book to bring. Bible or something light.
10. Pack mp3 player with Bible lectures in case there is a test.
11. Pack Ibuprophen and anti-anxiety medication. Note to self: Refill prescriptions before Saturday.
12. Let the dog out. Leave food. Say goodbye. Note to self: We’re almost out of Talisker.