The esteemed & sapient Numéro Cinq judges were retrieved last night from a whisky bar called 9 Maple Avenue in Saratoga Springs where they claimed to have been listening to jazz but were mostly involved in a drinking game that required each judge in turn to begin reciting Homer’s Iliad in Greek backwards from the end. As soon as a judge made a mistake, he or she was forced to down (reluctantly) a shot of Talisker amid a fusillade of jeers, witty jibes, mockery, insult and derision. The competition was so fierce that the police were called and several judges had to leave and were discovered later scampering naked in Congress Park. DG tells you this so that you understand the intellectual caliber and reach of the NC arbiters of high art and taste, also the immense pressure they are under and the inventive and creative ways they find to blow of steam, as it were.
After DG forced the judges, some still in bathrobes, to drink pots of coffee at Virgil’s coffee shop, they were able to issue the following list of finalists for this year’s official Aphorism Contest (not to be confused with the People’s Choice Contest which you wonderful readers have already adjudicated).
Read the finalists below. The full list of entries is here.
2011 Numéro Cinq Aphorism Contest Official Finalists
Human Nature – oft cited excuse for the inhuman(e) and unnatural.
You know you’re in trouble when you envy the girl in the “before” picture.
Daylight Savings: jet lag without travel.
Truth prowls in the mansions of wit.
More than one coincidence is more than just coincidence.
The advantage of drawing a line in the sand is that it won’t be there tomorrow.
To speak of heaven is to underestimate eternity.